on feeling optimistic again

I came across a post in the r/self Reddit community that inspired me to write today. The OP, a 40 year old male, wrote that he had visited a college with his young daughter recently, and the experience had made him feel sadness. The idea that the beautiful and hopeful experience that is being a young person in college, for him, could never be felt again.

This is a story that we tend to tell ourselves. That as we get older, our hopes and dreams begin to mean less. We take fewer chances, go after fewer aspirations, because society has told us that our time for discovery, for learning, and for play, is in the past. This is only a narrative in our minds. And narratives are sticky. It can take immense effort to move past these narratives.

Here’s what I replied with in the post:

38M here. Got a grad degree between 2021-2023. In the process of pivoting in my career now. Will probably do a doctorate at some point in the future.

There are many barriers to making changes later in life. Much (or most) of them are just made up in our minds, based on cultural narratives. Find a way to turn off that noise, trust your inner voice telling you that you want more in your life, and start walking through those open doors. It can take some time and hard work, but there are ways to feel that feeling again. If you have trouble finding motivation, think of the others who will be inspired by our growth — our kids for one.

On getting through trauma — the best mechanism I’ve found for this is through writing. Journaling for 10 minutes each morning is a good start. The more you write about things that occurred in the past, the more those events move to the past in your mind. Look up Pennebaker’s work on writing protocols for more context.

Do you feel the same as the OP? What barriers, cognitive or otherwise, are keeping you from striving toward your goals? And what is keeping you from appreciating all that you’ve accomplished in life thus far? How does gratitude fit in to feeling optimistic toward the present and the future?

Read the original post and comments on Reddit here.