I don’t believe in the traditional narrative that an existential or midlife crisis means simply reaching a point where life isn’t as fulfilling as we had hoped.
If this turning point is anything like anxiety, then the “crisis” occurs when we receive a totally natural, healthy signal for change, and get to choose how we deal with that signal.
Sometimes we turn to unhealthy ways of dealing with this feeling, which makes sense as we’ve been conditioned to associate a hopeless negative affect (e.g., “all is lost”) with these signals (e.g., “my job isn’t what I thought it would be”). Sometimes we suppress these feelings and ignore them altogether, leaving them lingering in our subconscious. (Note: Unfortunately, these lingering thoughts never really go away. Often, they are manifested through other aspects of our lives.)
Feelings are context dependent, changing over time and dependent on a number of environmental and situational variables. How we frame these signals and how we react to them is entirely up to us. Imagine a scenario that, when faced with the midlife (quarter life, existential, etc.) crisis—rather than splurging on that quick hit of dopamine (e.g., buying a new sports car)—we acknowledge that positive signal and convert it into something sustainable and productive? How would we feel in that moment? How would we feel after some time? How we we feel in 10 years?